Ryan Air: “Just get there.”

You see, things may not always be the most comfortable here at Ryan Air. But we know that. And you know what we also know?––Those things aren’t what YOU are looking for. You didn’t choose us for our scrumptious in-flight meals, our comfortable seats, or our larger than average seat-back tables because we don’t have ‘em. You chose us because you don’t care about any of that stuff, all you care about is the adventure awaiting you––adventures our prices allow you to afford. You care about saving where it counts, about stretching your journey to its farthest limits, and you aren’t afraid of figuring out creative places to rest your elbows or bringing a snack with you. Because your adventure doesn’t begin with the flight you take, it begins when you get where you’re going. So just get there.

BUDGET BURIALS BURIAL CONSULTANTS (a company of my own creation):

PORTLAND BUREAU OF TRANSPORTATION: (you should try not to [get caught] speed[ing], but if you do you will be sent a free action shot along with your ticket. (Real ticket photograph included below.)

HONDA: “Nothing Lasts Like Honda”

Honda Tags:

• The most common cold-war-era cars still found on American motorways.

• Anything more is just extra.

• There are some things you hold onto even after you’ve grow out of them.

• The only things that last longer are things you can’t buy.

SUPERFEET: